Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, elastic, deep, rich blood scent
Mood: es geht
Symptoms: mild cramping, a little bloating, headache
Mucus:
A little rough today. A few fish oil pill cons:
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, red, elastic, fluid-like, clear mucus floating on top
Mood: shitty
Symptoms: headache, short fuse
Mucus:
Made the mistake of looking at my blog stats. Even though I seriously doubt that I want tons (much?) traffic, I became a sad clown, nonetheless. Eh, it’s a boring site these days–just me whining, lazily charting stats, seldom writing interesting things about menstruation. I can cop to that.
Life is crappier than usual, but, still, I like this blog–why else would I keep fucking with the theme? I gotta muster up some gumption and can-do. After all, this weather is fantastic, my plant is lovely, my books are waiting for me, I’m still fit enough not to pass out during my workouts (I hope)…ok, that’s all I’ve got.
It’s a matter of simply biting the bullet and getting on with the business of doing what actually works–what makes me happy and healthy. Fuck, it’s difficult, though, and I hate that.
My regular net haunts have finally reached the bone after gnawing at my flesh for some time. Everyone had apparently gotten on the clueless train and proceeded to dance in the aisles. It takes a lot to rile me up to the point of cursing at the screen and sending laser death beams to the offending screen names, but it happened. Time to put them down in favor of more productive pursuits.
Banned Books Week is quickly passing me by and my push-up count is gradually diminishing.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, elastic
Mood: fine
Symptoms: tiny cramping and bloating
Mucus:
Had some trouble with the cup. It leaked twice. I admit laziness and take the blame for the first time–I just couldn’t be bothered with checking the seal. However, the second time–hm. I guess my seal skills are lacking. Right now, though, I’m perfectly comfortable.
I actually did that sneeze-squirt thing a few days ago–could be related. My body does not like not working out.
The mornings are perfect for working out–no fear of dying from the heat, but these ridiculous hours and this thing are really just, ultimately, taking me out of life. It’s going to be a while before things return to normal–assuming that it’s possible.
Ha, I pruned my plant today after fertilizing and watering her. She’s inspiring–despite my ill treatment, she lives and blooms. Hopefully, I’ll hop back on board soon.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, super elastic, really chunky
Mood: eh
Symptoms: headache, cramps, bloating, brief short fuse
Mucus:
I felt her coming, so I initiated pre-emptive strike. Therefore, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow before I know the actual stats.
The bloating was brief as was the headache, but the cramps have been constant. However, each of the five? six? sessions with Hitachi has landed me in Awesome Orgasm Land–I won’t complain.
This presents a new type of cycle, though: symptoms on the day of. I’ll note that my last cycle was 25 days!
A few days ago, I felt a little icky and weird, but the feeling was brief, leading me to anticipate another late cycle. The next day, I felt absolutely nothing, which confirmed my assumption. Today, I felt everything sort of fall onto me throughout the day.
I’ve been taking my vitamins regularly, but I guess that wasn’t enough. Nope, I haven’t worked out at all.
Ah, my plant, despite my intentional neglect, has come to life again. All the leafless stems are sprouting little green babies. Higher up, vines like Medusa’s hair full of bright green leaves stretch and hang strongly from the post with which their base is intertwined.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: remnant, brown
Mood: fine
Symptoms: none
Mucus: opaque, bits of remnant, thick, elastic, generous
Slowly, ever so slowly I’m getting back into my groove. Productive desires are tentatively creating space for themselves as I type. Puzzling how the good things are so hard to keep a grasp on, especially when I know they’re good.
About that whole exercising twice a day thing: I’m putting that off until next week because these workouts are gutting me. For yesterday’s legs and back routine, one word: nausea. Oy. Recovery time amounted to around two hours. I blame bad breathing, overexertion, and dehydration. I added the 15s at the start where it’s usually 10s, but I felt fine and strong. I used them again for the Step Back Lunges and began to crack toward the middle of the routine.
I felt sore all day, but definitely not enough to deter me from cardio. This time I felt a tiny bit of nausea and took about three breaks.
Tomorrow will be yoga and fasting. Yoga especially to get my breathing back on track. Eesh. Meditation and reading sound good, but I won’t tickle my hopes on that.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: reddish brown, one teaspoon, elastic, a little lining
Mood: ok
Symptoms: none
Mucus:
Hm, I guess I bled the majority out onto my shorts during the second day. Peculiar.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: 2 teaspoons, dark red, watery/thick elastic, little lining
Mood: fantastic, energetic
Symptoms: none
Mucus:
Hm, she tricked me. Color me shocked to see such small amounts gleaming at the bottom of my cup–a teaspoon each time.
Today, I felt energetic, happy and apt. Eager to devour every spiritual/religious book ever written, resume my study of German and literature. I even considered, albeit briefly, writing again. Thus even if the enthusiasm wanes, I know that the desire exists, so I can start, fueled on that alone.
I’m confident enough into my health to attempt working out twice a day three to four days this week. Fasting two to three times this week would be great as well, especially on rest days.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture:
Mood: fantastic, energetic
Symptoms: info binge, horn
Mucus: abundant, creamy, white, normal taste/scent
The Virgin/Maiden phase was definitely switched on today, in that I just felt good and energetic–ready for the world. Between the binging and excitement, I managed to steal a little quiet time and bestow upon myself some of the good touch.
I do believe one of the orgasms–the best one–was brought about by the thought of me getting ready for Krishna. Somewhere, I came across a woman talking about using her Oshun altar for sexual purposes. In my little head, I imagined Oshun giving me a ritual bath of sorts, glamorizing me up, then dressing me for him. Weird, but great.
On the Gita front, the love continues to grow as the Tenth Teaching has me wanting to contemplate Krishna as the moon: “I am the lightning among wind gods / the moon among the stars” (21).
I found myself thinking of John Donne’s The Ecstasy as one way to imagine how love for Krishna could be expressed. It’s one of my absolute favorite poems, so being able to connect it to my spiritual leanings tickles me senseless. I can start reading and thinking about literature again.
I’m seeing this Krishna business as a progression: Let’s start at the physical and work our way up, shall we?
I’d like to note that despite some a few setbacks, the ritual seems to be working. Overall, negativity’s grip is losing its might.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: remnant drops, watery, dark brown
Mood: good, good
Symptoms: none
Mucus:
Same stuff. Different day. No reading. No studying. No meditation.
Along with myself, I’ll blame buying the additional candles. Now, meditation won’t feel right until I have the proper cloth. Pathetic, I know. I briefly considered simplifying the business by lighting one or two candles and simply reading, but I talked myself out of that.
Seems I’m afraid of this type of pleasure or something. I feel all the old, negative, unproductive thoughts and desires slithering their way back in. Not good.
A new moon’s coming up in about ten days. A good time for a new moon ritual. Nevertheless, I can’t wait ten days to just read and meditate. That’s just senseless laziness and I cannot abide it.
My plants are growing steadily and I think it’s time to put them in the ground.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: free flow, remnant bits, dark brown (almost black), watery,
Mood: down & out, gradually soothed
Symptoms: tears, apathy, tears
Mucus:
The whole day from the early morning hours was a study in depression–another day 7 come early. Suddenly, I got the urge to pick apart my body and every negative thought coalesced into a big ball of sadness and I fed it.
I cried. I moped. I wallowed in negativity. I attempted to occupy myself, but that didn’t last long. Sleeping helped some. The chocolate post didn’t even cross my mind.
Needless to say, I did no reading–I got to the point where I even felt unworthy of Krishna…yeah.
I’m better now, but still confused about the Gita and Krishna–I feel great when I read and study (as I said), but it’s strange to feel so…about a Hindu god. It started years and years ago. I view it as the beginning of my spiritual journey, so anything could happen between now and whenever I find whatever it is I’m after.
I should just simply enjoy the fact that the Bhagavad-Gita is so great and that I have the means to indulge a tolerable portion of this hoopla. I’ve decided to wait on Sacred Woman and Krishna: The Beautiful Legend of God so that I can focus on the Gita. Those books will only transform me into scatterbrain and I’d never finish reading any of them.
Anyway, yeah, I free flowed for most of the day thinking I could handle the bits. Turns out, I’m still bleeding bright, beautiful, red menses. Tricksy little minx. However, it was a negligible amount caught by the toilet and its accompanying paper. By the time I put in the cup, I was dripping brownly.
I just noticed that I had no acne this time around. Go figure.
