Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Flow/Texture: free flow
Mood: sour, irritable
Symptoms: cramps, pain, bloating
A strange one, being a day late. I felt the cramps and aching several before I started to bleed. Hitachi was on soothe-duty and helped quite a bit, but water came through in the end. I’ve had a really bad cold this week and I just knew that I’d have to put up with both menstrual aches and a cold. Thankfully, however, the cold has abated over the past few days.
Just put the cup in–urination spurred the flow. I’ve had Hitachi in bed with me all night and about twenty minutes ago decided to try an oil concoction. Neither is keeping the cramping at bay for very long, but the oil mixture–rosemary, jojoba and peppermint–felt lovely against my skin, very smooth. Still, I press on.
Water is good–it’s coolness should feel good against the tingly on my skin originating from the oil. I just don’t want to get up to fix it.
I’m so ready to start working out again–I hate feeling weak. The mornings are cool and perfect for hard sweating.
Afternoon: cramping and bloating like mad, all morning. Hitachi is useless–I used him until I grew raw. I’m drinking water now, but it’s not helping. Were I fit, I’d do yoga.
Late Afternoon: the cramping and bloating are finally starting to subside.
Emptied the cup in a wasteful manner: ¼ oz, reddish black, elastic, chunky.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, super elastic, really chunky
Mood: eh
Symptoms: headache, cramps, bloating, brief short fuse
Mucus:
I felt her coming, so I initiated pre-emptive strike. Therefore, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow before I know the actual stats.
The bloating was brief as was the headache, but the cramps have been constant. However, each of the five? six? sessions with Hitachi has landed me in Awesome Orgasm Land–I won’t complain.
This presents a new type of cycle, though: symptoms on the day of. I’ll note that my last cycle was 25 days!
A few days ago, I felt a little icky and weird, but the feeling was brief, leading me to anticipate another late cycle. The next day, I felt absolutely nothing, which confirmed my assumption. Today, I felt everything sort of fall onto me throughout the day.
I’ve been taking my vitamins regularly, but I guess that wasn’t enough. Nope, I haven’t worked out at all.
Ah, my plant, despite my intentional neglect, has come to life again. All the leafless stems are sprouting little green babies. Higher up, vines like Medusa’s hair full of bright green leaves stretch and hang strongly from the post with which their base is intertwined.
Moon: Waning Crescent
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, elastic, chunky
Mood: —
Symptoms: bloating, cramping, cravings, slight headache
Mucus:
Yet another 24-day cycle. Bummer. This week: diarrhea, gas (both ends), the fingernail thing–I really don’t get it–cravings.
Something else is going on, but I hesitate to say that it’s cycle-related.
I honestly can’t catch a break.
Moon: Waxing Crescent
Flow/Texture: free flow, dark red, elastic
Mood: fine
Symptoms: bloating, tiny headache, cramps, acne
Mucus:
My intentions: beautiful, righteous, pure, enthusiastic, focused, every. I wanted to be good this time around, detailing the happenings of every day up til the first day, but the very things I wanted to report on kept me from it.
I saw anger more than anything along with cravings, a maddening libido, negative thoughts coupled with a desire for physical self harm. I can trace a line to a viable, curable source for each one but the last one. I honestly don’t know what that’s about.
I stewed and moped quite a bit, but I’m still on the deutsch. I’m attempting to maintain a well of resources that is consistent, repetitive, and entertaining. It’s difficult not to skip completed exercises. Repeating them keeps them fresh in my head.
I don’t have anything to say about my other neglected activities. I don’t even know where they are or if they’re even inside me anymore.
According to my trackers, this is another 24-day cycle. How crappy. I don’t remember this ever occurring before.
Oh, my moonflower blooms beautifully and its scent is heavenly. I broke the first bloom off by accident–enthusiasm can be destructive. I’m not sure yet, but I do believe they bloom at night then curl inward to die in the morning. The other seed I planted is growing nicely, too.
Moon: Waxing Crescent
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz dark red, chunky, elastic
Mood: irritable, sad
Symptoms: cramps, bloating, quick temper, tears, headache, increased sense of smell
Mucus:
Started during the day and got progressively heavier as have the cramps. Hitachi was my weapon of choice. Temporary, but awesome relief–wowzer.
And to top it off, I’m a day early–what? A day early, plus all these symptoms.
Yesterday, did P90x’ Cardio Intervals for the first time in eons all without taking a single break! Tough, yet great workout, especially good for the legs. No soreness.
My moon flower is growing wildly, twining with anything within its reach. It’s beautiful. Tending to it soothes me.
Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz. dark red, elastic, lining chunks, clear elastic mucus
Mood: fine, considering
Symptoms: bloating, all-day cramping, cravings, horn
Mucus:
One day late.
This week and part of last week are characterized by my gradual spiraling down: spiritual apathy, cravings, and a progressive fraying of my nerves. The past few days saw my libido turn dangerous–it’s good that I kept myself cloistered.
I miss the closeness I had begun to feel, but I believe I’ve lost it. As a result, worthless desires won and, as always, I felt none too special or fulfilled by them. Yesterday, I was caught in a self-destructive mindset, wanting nothing more than to harm myself: knives and fire became fascinating. I think I’ve discovered a link between my mental health and exercise.
Cravings were of the dairy and sugar persuasion and I’m sure those had nothing to do with these horrible cramps. Oh boy, they lasted all freaking day.
I’m not sure if I’ll bother with the full moon ritual, but the gibbous has been beautiful these past few nights. That it will be a lunar eclipse should mean something–I want it to. Despite my apathy, I’ve been on the hunt for signs as to whether or not I should keep trying.
The Fourteenth Teaching gives the go ahead, as well as some newfound ideas about the Book of Genesis and Satan, and my readiness to tackle the Tao Te Ching–not that I wasn’t going to do that anyway. I’ve discovered a possible convergence between it and the Gita, which I hope will provide for better context and understanding.
For my next attempt at the Bible, I’ll try the allegorical approach. The literary/eww Bible approach has continued to fail me for the obvious reasons.
My menstrual flowers have become lovely ever-growing vines now. (I fed them today.) Just have to figure out where to put them.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: Free flow
Mood: excellent
Symptoms: tiny cramps
Mucus:
Twenty-five day cycle. Yes!
I’ve felt great all day. I binged on the Bhagavad-Gita, found a site with a slightly different translation and notes, so I ended up reading the 5th, 7th, and 8th teachings about three times more each–I think I got ‘em now.
I was looking forward to the full moon ritual and was not expecting my period, but lo and behold, she comes. I knew I had to do it then, no matter what. Thing is, about an hour or so before, I couldn’t see the moon and was bummed absolutely, thinking I’d have to do it sans lunar inspiration.
After a little more reading, I began preparing my ritual paraphernalia outside. As I went back in to retrieve more stuff, I looked up and saw it–a beautiful, bright waning gibbous–though it was enough (98% ) of a full moon for my needs.
The setup was simple and good: three candles, some rosemary oil in a burner, green tea, and my list. And the ritual went well: I invoked the presence of the divine, spoke my piece, destroyed the list, thanked the divine, then meditated while looking up at the moon. I even offered a libation.
I sat on a red cloth and bled onto it as I meditated. I was in the moment, so no stream this time, only the image of my blood flowing from me as the moon washed me in its light. This is the a typical first day–pretty light, so I’m just seeping a bit.
Rosemary oil is lovely. As the breeze blew, it mixed with the vanilla scent of the pillar candle almost like a drug. Somehow, as I spoke the words, I felt that I was accomplishing something. I still do.
Except for a little tummy growling and the tempting smell of red meat, the fast was perfect. I’m still going strong. I’d like to meditate a while tomorrow before eating, maybe practice some breathing exercises for the upcoming cramps instead of applying the good touch. Ya know, just for some mind over matter practice.
A great way to end the night: writing in my journal and reading some excerpts from the Bhagavata Purana–yet again.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, dark red, elastic,
Mood: swingy: calm, slightly irritable, temper
Symptoms: brief, headache (left temple), constipation, bloating, cramps, nausea, odd, feverish warmth all over, weakness, lethargy
Mucus:
Just one more day, one more day. Oh well.
The symptoms came out full force today. I’m still suffering that weird heat which seems to be radiating from my palate. The cramps have been going strong all day. Water, orgasms, yoga, and meditation all strove to slay the beast, but it proves elusive: slinking away in seeming defeat for a time only to reemerge unscathed, ready for all challengers.
I failed nutritionally, so I’m bearing it all with as few tears and groans as possible. What’s more, I could have exercised, but I used the increasing weakness and nausea as excuses to bag that idea.
I fed the seeds and now I’m anxiously waiting for the sprouts. A little note: next time I’ll dilute the blood before pouring it over the seeds instead of just dumping it all at once. Yeah.
Moon: Waning Crescent
Flow/Texture: ¼ oz, medium, dark red, smooth & elastic
Mood: so-so, horned
Symptoms: super horn, cramping, bloating
Mucus:
This was an odd first day: I’m not usually this heavy, but I’m also late. I’ll lay the blame there.
I woke up bloated and sluggish, but didn’t start bleeding until maybe an hour later. I’ve been crampy and sore practically the whole day. Water and orgasms played my temporary saviors. In fact, time stopped four times today as Hitachi swooped in for relief duty. I’m riding the ebb of the fourth as I type. I feel pretty good.
