Feeling Menstrual.

Yesterday, I cried (still cry)–tears, sobbing, the whole bit–looking at that picture.  I didn’t wonder why.

Since late last month, I’ve been running on a vitamin-less diet.  I don’t like it, but I haven’t experienced any notable, negative consequences:  my nails still grow nicely (when I work out regularly) and I do believe my hair does as well.  I still feel energetic.  Still, this sans-vitamin trip must end soon.

For the past two weeks or so I’ve been feeling strangely, though:  cold-like symptoms, mainly.  For the past few days, it’s been random flushes of heat over my body.  A little diarrhea, for a day, too–remember that from once before.

More importantly, today, I’ve been feeling  menstrual-y–reading period stories and watching videos via Jezebel.  The menstruation tag (#menstruation) grabbed some winners.

Menarche stories are fun, but I found myself always saddened by the ones in which the girls were horrified–to the point of fearing death–at the onset of their periods.  There are plenty white pants/shorts stories and excited moms, as well.  I envy the girls with the celebratory moms.

I was ridiculed one day at school when my period came unexpectedly–stained pants while standing outside with my class (middle school–ugh) waiting for lunch.  Some dude started pointing and laughing and encouraged a supposed friend to join in.  I had no idea why “everyone” was laughing until a teacher came up to me, quietly told me the score, then escorted me to the main office where I called my grandmother.

Oh, Grandmother.  With a stern look, she halted me at the opened car door so she could quickly and carefully shield her passenger seat.  Had I not been a mistress of feelingus repressus, I probably would’ve broken down right there.  On a bright note, the friend apologized the next day with a note and I gleefully forgave her as if nothing had happened.

Some highlights from the tag:

Could Tampon Packaging Please Look Like This?:  It’s about repackaging tampons to reduce the shame of buying them.  Some made some good points, though.  Namely, the fact that if you’re ashamed of buying your period products, the new design probably won’t diminish that very much, if at all.  Many chimed in to say that they weren’t, in fact, embarrassed to purchase their tampons.  That’s almost always good.  It’s bad when they claim to not understand why other women are ashamed, but I have developed an unswerving hatred of that phrase, anyway.

Period Pieces:  27 Movie Menstruation Scenes:  That and lots of menarche stories.  Let’s see, my standouts are Carrie, The Legend of Billie Jean, and  Slums of Beverly Hills.  Billie Jean probably had the greatest affect since I was a youngin’ went I saw it and I got my period a few years later.  I loved that movie so much, I chopped off the hair on one of my Barbies and named her Billie Jean.

A Reader’s Treasury of Cures For Your Cramps:  New ones:  poppy tea, sitting on the toilet (I didn’t think anyone else did that), Mary Jane, hard liquor, a laptop (oh yes, it gets hot enough), and essential oil blends:  rosemary, eucalyptus, peppermint, and cajeput (not totally new, but I keep forgetting that I can do this.)

Ten Days In the Life of a Tampon:  Wow.

Menstrual Flow Chart:  Coolest Thing We’ve Seen All Week:  adorable and informative.

Some Old-Tyme Period Practices Were Kinda Fun:  the menstrual hut or “seclusion tradition” becomes a 3-day vacation.  Some reader quotes:

I Red Tent the shit out of my life for about a week every month, and it’s awesome. For the longest time, I tried and tried to be a “trooper” and force myself to go out and not limit my activities, and I’ve discovered that I’m much happier if I take the week off from life and come home from work and just eat ice cream on the couch and cry at commercials. And then I arise, phoenix-like, at the end of it, feeling refreshed, if a little stir-crazy, instead of just fucking exhausted –Triphena

I have a 3-day vacation, it is called the Friday, Saturday and Sunday of my 7 day visit from Aunt Flow. During these 3 days, I allow myself a visit to KFC, a pint of ice cream eaten in a single sitting, a viewing of the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility, Love Actually or the first season of Grey’s Anatomy. I also leave work an hour early on Friday and stay in my pajamas and sweatpants for most of Saturday and Sunday, unless of course I need to leave my cave for supplies such as Cheetos, Toblerone or Tim’s Cascade Habanero chips.

Mine is a 21st century version of that seclusion deal. And I enjoy it completely –quatrevingtquartre

Short version of on-topic answer: I’d be into OPTIONAL menstrual seclusion for women if it was in a context of respecting the sacred fem, of contemplation of cycles, of miracles, of the capability to create and sustain life, of cthonic relevance, of second and third chances, in fact an infinite number of chances to house a miracle in the form of a child, or make a repair to the world in lieu of giving birth, etc etc armchair spiritualism.

But it’s SO EASY to co-opt a healthy tradition for negative, hurtful reasons, because our ruling cultures across the world don’t give a shit about the sacred feminine or sustaining life. The possibilities for perverting something holy kind of turn me off the ritual –LimitedLiabilityGirl

What Should Be in a First Period Kit?:  Takes me back to how excited I was when I received my first care package in the fifth grade.

PMS Is Not A Window Into Your Soul:  A p0int of view I’m seeking to escape, but it’s a reality for many women.  Interestingly enough, however, some in the PMS sucks! camp admit to a certain validity in this so-called new age approach, but blame time constraints for their unwillingness to embrace it.

Bloody Hell:  Menstrual Activists Make Periods Public:  I like it.  It makes me think, but I’m not there yet.

A Smidgen on Kegels.

Friend or Foe? I have the ones in front

Most are aware of Kegels and the fact that they were developed to strengthen the PC muscles. The world is awash in how to’s, exercise equipment, and videos reminding us to do our Kegels.

For the armchair gynecologists, every vaginal ailment (mostly sexual) under the sun could surely benefit from a round of Kegels.

Do them anywhere!

Welp, I found a couple articles on Kegels that aim to combat the fuss.  Apparently, these superstar exercises aren’t worth the hype. In fact, over doing the suckers might actually exacerbate your troubles, namely vaginal prolapse and incontinence.  According to Bowman and Kent, squats and good posture are your real friends.

Great news for me since I can’t remember the last time I consciously Kegeled my pubococcygeus muscle, but I do squats and my posture is righteous!

Pelvic Floor Party:  Kegels Are NOT Invited

Why Kegels Don’t Work (PDF file)

Luckily, Kegels aren’t a total waste–better orgasms (still, meh)–so, I don’t feel too badly about my Smart Balls.

Third Day (June 25).

Moon:  Full Moon

Flow/Texture: morning:  dark red, elastic, thick lining, 1 teaspoon.  evening:  a few drops, brownish red, remnant-like liquid, watery lining

Mood:  calm,

Symptoms:  none

Mucus:

Third day remnant bits always puzzle me.  Tomorrow, the blood will fill my cup as though it never left.

I’m due for a fast.

The ritual turned out better than I’d expected.  Some good stuff occurred, mainly concerning the clouds.  As I started, thin, scattered clouds nearly surrounded the moon.  I put a good spin on it and called them beautiful as the light made them glow, almost like a fire-guided smolder.

Toward the middle, I noticed them breaking apart as they drifted over the moon, as though the moon itself were tearing them.  When I finished the ritual, the clouds were gone.  That’s an inspiring and memorable thing.

I added drying rose petals and the scent mixed the with rosemary oil and vanilla from the candle were great.  Not to mention, the spread looked beautiful.  To give them added significance, I’ve decided to name the candles:  patience, joy, strength, will, love, peace.  Had trouble keeping love lit, but wound up burning brighter in the end.

Despite my lack of involvement, I felt that lovely weight in my heart and that my desires would come to fruition.

Menstrual Rituals.

Your friendly, neighborhood red tent.

For the past two days, I’ve indulged an information binge and decided to put some of that to use here.  Now, I’m scanning the ‘net, hunting out ideas for a menstrual ritual.  Since I know how much my mind and body enjoy the ritual process, I thought an altar would be snazzy.

I’ve found a few, scattered ideas so far:  red candles, quiet reflection.  Of course, we have the rituals many woman enact every month to cure symptoms:  pills, wine, all-day fetal position, chocolate, sleep, etc.  But I suppose I’m after something more ceremonious and celebratory.

I suppose it’s something along the lines of a private menstrual hut/circle, including the beet juice or tea as well as a menstrual skirt.

In my diggings, I found Blood Sisters: By honoring the fertility cycle, the menstrual-health movement seeks to reclaim an ancient source of female power. Essentially an article about a retreat, founded by Tamara Slayton, where adolescents girls learn to develop and nurture positive attitudes toward womanhood and their menstrual cycles.

The article also includes stories about older women coming to terms with the negative and sometimes traumatic memories of their menarche, or first period, and who also learn to take breaks from life in order to honor their moon time.

Women who pay attention to their fertility cycles, Slayton tells her young charges, are in touch with nothing less than the creative principle of the universe. After all, she explains, each month a woman recapitulates the phases of creation, nourishment, death, and regeneration. In its creative or “light” phase– ovulation–this power can be used to conceive artistic or intellectual offspring as well as actual biological children. In its dark or “death” phase–menstruation– it can become a source of autonomy and authority in an era when women are too often expected to devote themselves entirely to the needs of others…

Few in academia, perhaps. But among those in the feminist-spirituality movement, the conversation is already in full swing. Among the more intriguing theories now being discussed: that the menstrual cycle is the missing link between women and empowerment. “Some people say the anatomical differences between men and women are not significant,” says Virginia Beane Rutter, a Jungian analyst who has written about the initiation of menarche in her book, Woman Changing Woman. “I believe they are the source of our deepest strength. Women who deny this are often caught up in a pseudo male-identification. Their life breath is coming from a very shallow place.”

[link]

I’m intrigued by the symbolic perspective of the menstrual cycle:  nourishment, death, regeneration.  On Menstruation.com.au, I found that same idea illustrated in a diagram about the Female Energy Cycle.  The Female Energy Cycle explained.  This perspective coincides with my plans and efforts during the moon rituals, which all are about death, renewal, and growth.

Courtesy of the yOni menstrual tips board:

Another tip: A friend of mine told me that she read somewhere that there are four phases associated with the four days of bleeding- First day is Reflection (looking back on the month), second day is Projection (your plans for the month ahead), third day is Purification (the heaviest blood has usually passed by now and it is time for cleansing), fourth day is Celebration (need I say more?) Thought this was a nice way to be with your cycle. Enjoy! Karen

I really love the connections between all of these separate sources.

As far as the archetypes go, I’m a virgin striving to jump aboard the Hestia train, though currently I’m coming up on my mother phase (ovulation).  I’ve complicated things with all the altar nonsense–needing the right fabric and candles–when, at most, I’ll need what I already have.  And now, this info spree.

My head and body enjoy the rituals because, despite my solitary nature, I normally don’t spend time with myself, sitting in silence and relaxing.  An introvert not using her powers for the good of her spirit?  There’s no lunacy in that.  tsk, tsk.

Nonetheless, I want this menstrual ritual in place, ready for next time.  Though the full moon/first day ritual was perfect, I neglected a lot this time around.  I didn’t feel very menstrual-like or womanly.  I am and was much too involved with Krishna and the Gita.

Perhaps this is where Oshun comes into play, the womanly aspect at least.  I see a fertility goddess statue, the red candles and cloth, journal, skirt, tea, and chocolate.  Simple enough.

Before Period–Day 19.

Moon:  Waxing Gibbous

Flow/Texture:

Mood:  serene

Symptoms:  bloating, cravings, horn (with accompanying dreams)

Mucus:  white, greasy/smooth texture, normal scent, tasteless

I was a ravenous thing this morning.  I ate something, watched some Law & Order and suddenly felt calm, ready to work, fast, and read.

I’m starting the water fast at the end of the week, at which time I will mediate, drink my water, and read.  I’m not sure how this will affect my workout routine, but I just feel that it’s time–perhaps I might do yoga.  This is a feeling, this calmness, serenity, and surety, that I’ve rarely felt so I’m going with it.  I’ll do whatever it wants and go wherever it leads.

I read half of the Book of Daniel and took some notes before going to sleep.

The wandering eye has seized me:  other cups are striking my fancy.  I blame my Diva Cup’s perpetually stained, hollow stem and the sealing holes that are annoying to clean.

I’m looking at the Yuuki and Lunette especially.  The Yuuki [youtube video] is really cute and has a solid stem.  I like the Lunette’s [youtube video] minimalist design and flat, solid stem.  According to the video, apparently the Yuuki cup has either a hollow or solid stem.  Damn.

While visiting the yOni menstrual tips board again, I found a few that captured my eye:

H o o o w l
at the moon

Wear red.
It stimulates the circulation and replaces the red you are losing from the aura.

Spend time by the ocean. Use the beauty and power of nature, especially water, to cleanse, clarify and wash away the old and no longer useful thoughts and feelings. Long, hot, perfumed soaks in the bath are great. Clary Sage and Rose oils are lovely.

All things grow with water. Release your tears and fear not the murky depths of your unconscious. Use your menstrual time to bring the mind home and contact your true nature.

Be
selective
about how
and who
you spend
your time
with

Have a day off.
~~~
I’ve found this to be my best medicine. Meditate, dance wildly, be creative, have orgasms, watch the moon, sleep more, read, do nothing, do whatever turns you on.

Gather a group of women together, the more diverse the group the better. Tell them in advance that you’ll be getting together to talk about your moon time. Have everyone bring food. Make herbal tea. Share stories about your menses and what it has meant to you. It’s so empowering to be able to share these stories with other women.

Try not wearing pads or tampons. Just let your blood flow, fill all of your folds and run down you legs. Obviously, the price of laundry detergent means you can’t do this too often, but it’s incredible – the warmth, that heady smell, being bathed in your own lubrication…this is womanhood!

Menstrual Myths

As a girl, I was an ear for several, ridiculous myths concerning my period.  I embraced some and scoffed at others.  Fortunately, my awesome fifth grade puberty booklet dispelled them all.  I miss that book.

The most memorable advised not washing hair, washing the hair in cold water to stop the period, avoiding the salon and cutting the hair.

Hm, lots focus on the hair, no?  Well, it makes sense.  However, there are many more still floating around.  I know because of my readings on the Internets.

It’s unhealthy to have sex during your period. While some women feel may feel uncomfortable about having sexual intercourse during menstruation, it’s perfectly OK, and may even help relieve menstrual cramps. In fact, although not scientifically proven, researchers have associated sex during menstruation with decreased endometriosis, as well as with several other health benefits including a long life; absence of heart disease, stroke, and breast cancer; healthy immunity; regulating the menstrual cycle; pain management; and improved quality of life. While the health benefits of sexual intercourse need more study, there is no health reason not to have sex during menstruation, so, go ahead, and have sex during your period if you want to!

Girls shouldn’t use tampons during their first periods. Another complete falsehood. There is no reason not to use tampons during your first period. Just make sure you read the instructions and insert the tampon correctly. A properly inserted tampon doesn’t pinch or cause any type of discomfort. In fact, you won’t feel anything if your tampon is inserted correctly. See: Tampon Tips for Teens

You shouldn’t exercise or do strenuous activities during your period. Menstruation is a normal function. Your period is not a disability, you can do anything during your period that you can do when you’re not menstruating. Once treated as a time when women were “sick,” menstruating women rested, stayed home, and didn’t socialize.[Menstrual Myths]

For the first one, I imagine “”unhealthy” as code for “eww, gross!”  Women are made to feel unclean all the time, but especially during their periods.  Religion, no doubt, can accrue some, if not all, the blame and society hopped aboard that train.  So, of course many women object to having sex while menstruating.  On the flip side, some women embrace the notion for the respite it offers from (awful) sex with their partners.

For number two, just one word:  virginity.  Adored, reviled, meaningless virginity.  Ok, is that actually five words, then?

I recall being told that strenuous activity either lengthened the flow or made it heavier.  I don’t think I objected to that  myth at all.  Had I known better, adolescence would have been a pinch sweeter.

Myth vs. Fact (needs some serious editing)

Myth - You can’t get pregnant on your period.

Fact - Ovulation can happen at any time, especially if periods aren’t regular.

Myth - Menstrual cycles should always be 28 days.

Fact - They vary woman to woman; 28 days is an average only.

Myth - All women have terrible periods.

Fact - Most women find that the discomfort is minimal and does not stop them from [enjoying their] regular activities they enjoy. Some women do have more pain or other symptoms then than others.

Myth - You should not get your feet wet during your period.

Fact - See above; this one was made popular by Tampax booklets and other literature of yesteryear.

Myth - Women on their period  are more likely to be attacked by bear, sharks, etc.

Fact - This is silly, and an urban legend not based on any scientific research.

Myth - Menstrual Blood smells badly.

Fact - Pads and Tampon cause blood to develop an odor as bacteria build, not blood itself.  Blood does not smell fishy or strongly itself.

[more]

I believed the first one for a long time.  The blood, as hated as it is, was, at the same time, worshipped as the definitive “no baby” symbol.  This idea underscores the general ignorance surrounding the female body and menstruation as a whole.

I pouted for a minute when I discovered that my cycles didn’t run for twenty-eight days.  That was the touted average and, naturally, there’s its relation to the moon.  In the beginning, the menstrual cycle is strange enough.  It’s even stranger when you don’t sync with the average of strange.

It’s deemed the “curse” after all.  Why shouldn’t we believe every women is miserable during that time?  Along with some other intriguing ideas, the Myths, Magic, Mystery article introduces the possibility that “the attitude of furtiveness and shame which surrounds menstruation in our culture is at least partly responsible for the physical discomfort that many women go through each month.”

Heehee, I found one of those booklets here.  It’s actually called Essence of Womanhood, from 1959.  Here’s another entitled As One Girl to Another, 1940.  What’s amusing about this one is that while it gives the go-ahead for washing your hair, for example, you must “dry it quickly–and stay out of draughts.”  Also, “if you dance–sit down now and then.  You can always say your feet hurt!”

Bears and sharks, huh?

Given the standard use of pads and tampons, I see no end for this myth.  I praise the Diva Cup for finally wiping the fog from my eyes.  *dramatic sigh*

Fourth Day (April 12).

Moon:  Waning Crescent

Flow/Texture:  light, 2-3 drops, dark red, watery, little, brown, chunky bits

Mood:  fine

Symptoms:  right pelvic ache

Mucus:

It’s winding down, winding down.  It’s been interesting.  I’d really like to eliminate the cramps, though.  According to Feminist Women’s Heath Center, “a diet high in linoleic and liblenic acids, found in vegetables and fish, increases the prostaglandins for aiding muscle relaxation.”  The other prostaglandins are to blame for cramps.

I love vegetables and fish, so I have no problem with this–I just need more.

I’ll try to do some shopping tomorrow for that lucky plant.  I may even consider an experiment–discover which plant achieves the most growth and vitality.

Menstrual Hut.

Aww, suddenly I’m feeling all desirous of a menstrual gathering.  I’d love to have a bunch of menstruating women around.  We could bleed together, share wine (or tea), chocolate, salty treats, ice cream, heating pads, good poetry and stories, (orgasms, too, if we want.  Whatever works, right?)–that’s a much more positive twist on the menstrual hut.

Found a cool little thread–women talking about their periods, the symptoms, remedies.  Some were discussing their menarche.  Some of these women had moms who threw parties, making the menarche memorable in a great way.  No such luck for yours truly. The Red Tent was mentioned.

I want to commune, bleed, talk, and eat.  I always love reading the menstrual stories of other women.  I read them wherever I find them.

The brief article Where’s the Menstrual Hut When You Need It? discusses one woman’s modern-day menstrual hut.  An excerpt for your reading pleasure:

Do you ever yearn for a chamam?

You know a place to go once a month? The red tent? The menstrual hut?

As modern day women, we’ve lost this tradition of honoring ourselves during our menses. No wonder so many suffer from premenstrual syndrome. Knowing you are going to face life severely challenged by your lack of hormones every month is enough to send you over the edge. What is tolerable on a daily basis–fussy children refusing to get ready for school, your spouse’s dirty clothes tossed on the floor instead of in the hamper, telemarketers calling when you’re fixing dinner–becomes absolutely intolerable. Futilely you try to entice the kids from their warm beds, then tripping over your husband’s dirty clothes your voice rising as you gather up his mess, then racing to answer the phone, you catch your bare toe on the edge of the door and…well, we all know what happens to the telemarketer! You need a break from your life.

continued

An interesting article detailing the history of menstruation, the patriarchy’s affect, and modern-day menstrual circles.  It’s entitled Our Blooding, Our Selves.  An excerpt:

If one were to examine misogyny at its core, the hatred and fear of menstruation would figure prominently. For centuries women’s monthly blood has been perceived as ugly, evil, shameful, and taboo. Yet society has forgotten that for thousands and thousands of centuries the menstrual act was sacred and revered.

…

By even the most conservative estimate, women have been menstruating for at least 300,000 years, (i.e., the approximate time frame our species evolved into Homo sapiens). From studies of prehistory, numerous anthropologists maintain that menstruation was once highly esteemed. It was considered awesome and miraculous that women could produce new life from our wombs and food from our breasts, as well as bleed without dying. These qualities help explain the matrilineal and matrifocal character of ancient peoples.

continued

What fascinates me the most concerning the circles is the overall positive, communal vibe.  Here, women can escape the negative mindset which enshrouds menstruation.  Sure, you vent frustrations and pains.  However, you go beyond pain (hopefully) and learn to enjoy it, or, at least eye it with a tad more kindness.

Perhaps a bit appreciation for an event that heightens your senses, enlivens your dreams, heightens your sex drive, urges unresolved issues to the foreground, and causes you to bleed for days at a time.  Perhaps.

As carnivorous as I am, the vegan hut has its charms.  I especially like the beet juice idea.

Lastly, some humor courtesy of Youtube:

Fourth Day (March 16).

Moon:  Waxing Crescent

Flow/Texture:  remnant drops and chunky bits, brown

Mood: 5 (on a 1-10 scale)

Symptoms: none

Mucus:

There’s a big, ugly ache seething inside me.  Anyway, I like this article:  PMS:  A Blessing, Not a Curse.  The author essentially advocates a more positive view of PMS, one that takes advantage of the symptoms and turns them into windows into the state of the body and mind.

Ever since I started this blog, I’ve desired a better outlook on my menstrual cycle.  I searched for positives until I noticed a pattern.  Namely, the things that most upset me during this time were found to be dismissed or unresolved issues.  Before this, I saw my reaction to those issues as temporary mental disruptions.  However, the same disruptions occurred repeatedly, despite my attempts to ignore them.  When I finally acknowledged the issues for what they were, they burdened me less.

After reading a few articles, I realized that cramps and cravings were signals from my body telling me that I lacked some form of nutrition.  Now, of course, when I eat healthful foods the cravings stop.  Not sure what to do for cramps besides exercise and “exercise,” however.

If for nothing else, I like the article simply for offering a positive perspective on PMS that’s also introspective.

Fourth Day (Jan. 26).

Moon: Waxing Gibbous

Flow/Texture: a few teaspoons, reddish brown liquid, brown chunky bits

Mood:  bouncy

Symptoms: a little cramping

Mucus:

Looks like I’m just about done for this month.  Tomorrow, unless things are seriously changing, I’ll have bits and pieces or remnant.  This one went quicker, though that first day, was no stroll through squishy beach sand.  Oy.

The scent was normal–I suppose I’ll attribute the odor to protein overload:  I ate and drank a lot.

Just a note:  I discovered while I was really, really away that baking soda and Dial hand soap are awesome like wonder twins for cleaning a less-than-perfect Diva Cup.  My eyes boggled at how clean & clear it got–Yeah, I’ve become somewhat lazy on that front.

Now, I’ve been thinking about the Lunapads again and how much I’d like them on days like this.  Yet, I’m considering the loss of tangible fluid and having to wear pads again.  Neither makes me happy. I like seeing my period in its liquid state and not to mention the texturific bits.  Nonetheless, the convenience–I want.

The pantyliners are the best fit, but the mini pads come with liners that I can change throughout the day.  Also, with the latter I’ll have the option to simply wear a pad instead of a cup on one of my lighter, yet still bleeding days.  It’s settled.